The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast

#12: From Cinematography to Helping People Discover Their True Selves with Courtney Koester

Episode 12

From the film and cinematography industry to coaching others to discover who they really are with Courtney Koester.

Episode Summary

In this week’s episode of the podcast I have the lovely Courtney Koester who went from working in the production world to an empowerment coach. We challenge you to ask bigger questions of yourself and your life, really thinking about what you want. Courtney gives us guidelines and ways to know when we are out of alignment and not living in our integrity.

Episode Takeaways

• Being misaligned in your career is all consuming and it leaves you feeling disconnected to yourself.

• Be honest with yourself and think about what skills you have right now – what are you good at, what do you enjoy, what have my experiences taught me?

• Don't ignore your inner wisdom, because this builds the self-trust you need for the unknown.

• Who you really are is a lifelong project.

• Deep breaths are really helpful to connect yourself to self. 

• Remember you are human and have patience with yourself – allow yourselves to get to a point of awareness.

• It’s okay if all you do today is cope.

• Everyone has different capacity levels – how much you have to give at any given moment.

• If you are burnt out in one area, it will affect every area.

• Understand what your capacity is so you can communicate that.

• You have to find what is nourishing for you and what helps to emotionally regulate you – eg. Get a drink, eat food, listen to a podcast.

• You can’t show up as your best self if you are running on empty.

• Set boundaries to meet goals and work on what is most important.

• It’s okay to reset your expectations – this can help you set those boundaries.

• You reserve the right to change your mind at any time.

• The second something feels painful or unhealthy – change your mind.

• There is not one right way for anything.

• Authenticity is a personal journey and responsibility – you have to decide what your values are and see if they align with the space you are in. 

• Self-connection leads to more enriching relationships.

• It’s okay if something that once felt good, doesn’t feel good anymore. 

Remember

Change is inevitable – say yes to it! We have to continue to evolve and grow and constantly check in with ourselves as to what feels good throughout life. 

You Don’t Want to Miss…

03:12 – The journey from film industry to empowerment coach

07:56 – Wake up – it’s time to make a change

12:39 – Corporate job to business owner

18:24 – Discovering your purpose

22:00 – Knowing your capacity

25:55 – Setting boundaries

33:21 – Showing up as your authentic self in a corporate environment

38:02 – Recognizing your energy and self-connection

42:05 – Saying yes to evolution

45:06 – Courtney’s coaching program 

Find Courtney At…

Website – www.ckoesterinspired.com 

Instagram – www.instagram.com/ckoesterinspired 

Coaching Program – www.ckoesterinspired.com/evolve 

Birth Chart Readings – www.ckoesterinspired.com/readings  

Chat With Me and More Free Resources At…

Website - http://hollyknoll.com/

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/hollyknoll/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/consult.hollyknoll

Email me – holly@hollyknoll.com

Grab your freebie:

• Have one solid business idea to immediately pitch to clients with my FREE Business Action Guide

Word-for-Word Episode Transcript:

Holly: (00:00)
Holly (00:00): Welcome to The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast, episode number 12. Hi, I'm Holly Knoll, host of The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast. If you've always wanted to start a business and don't know where or how to start, you've come to the right place. After leaving an unfulfilling corporate career, I decided it was time to start a business of my own. Today, I'm a business coach and creator of The Consultant Code where I help people start services based businesses in 60 days or less. So grab your latte because you're about to be inspired, armed with knowledge, and given simple tools to start a business of your own from my interviews with everyday entrepreneurs.

Holly (00:44): Hey, hey, hey friend. Thank you so much for joining me here on The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast. My name is Holly Knoll and I am the host of this show. Today I have a lovely, beautiful human being, Courtney Koester, as my guest. Now, Courtney and I are newer friends. We met this year in a business mastermind, which is basically a group of business owners that get together on a regular basis to really push each other more to our higher limits. We encourage each other to get out of our comfort zones, to take imperfect action, and to show up as our most authentic business selves.

Holly (01:23): And so naturally Courtney fit right into this concept because she is an empowerment coach herself. She started her career, however, in the production world. She was behind the camera and was a cinematographer and photographer. But throughout the course of her career, she saw humans the world over become anxious and get in their heads and disconnect from their true selves when in front of the lens. And now as an empowerment coach and Reiki master practitioner, she guides people who feel out of alignment to their self-connection and their full self expression. She helps them dive deep into topics of things like self-abandonment, self exploration, and self regard.

Holly (02:07): So this is a juicy conversation today, we get into a lot of the intangibles. So this isn't necessarily a quick one to fix for X problem, but this is... we're going to challenge you today to ask bigger questions of yourself, to ask bigger questions of your life, and to really think about what it is you want. And we will also give you... Courtney also, I haven't taken credit for Courtney, but Courtney also will give us guidelines and ways to know when we are out of alignment and when we are not living in our integrity. And so, without saying too much more about this podcast and giving the entire thing away, let me introduce to you, friend, Courtney Koester. Courtney, welcome to The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast. I am so excited to have you here today. Thank you so much for your time.

Courtney (03:00): Thank you for your time having me. Holly

(03:03): Yes, absolutely. And let's just get right down to it. I know everybody is probably dying to know how does somebody go from the film industry to the work of being an empowerment coach and a photographer and having them running your own business. What has your journey been like and how did you get to where you are?

Courtney (03:23): That is such a fun question. And first of all, it's such an honor to be here, so thank you so much for having me, Holly. It's been a long journey. It always is. That's the way that life goes. For me, it was such a fun start to be in the production world. It was something that I wanted to do once that spark clicked in me when I was in high school. It was something that I knew I was going to go into. And it is interesting because when you're in the film world, you can do one of two things, which is be in the corporate side of things where you go full time and you're in an office, or you can be more freelance. And that was one of those things that I didn't really know what that was when I was learning about it.

Courtney (04:11): And so for me, I think I went into it with the mentality of everything is a 9:00 to 5:00, and you go into an office and that's the definition of a job. And so even in the production world that seemed fun and exciting, I still saw it as going into an office and having a job and then maybe one day being on set somewhere and that would make it really fun and different. I quickly learned outside of graduating that being in an office and being in a corporate environment just really didn't align for me. And I didn't know what that meant at the time. I just had a reaction to it. So I was working 10:00 AM to 10:00 PM every day, potentially longer, and then commuting back home an hour.

Courtney (04:55): And I would legitimately cry walking to my office from the train and then cry coming home. I would call my mom just to connect with her because it just was... I didn't realize that that's what being misaligned in your career feels like. And I didn't know how much of my life it would consume. And so it really was my entire life, and it was taking it all up and I didn't feel connected to it. And therefore I didn't realize this at the time, but I didn't feel connected to myself.

Courtney (05:25): And I, luckily... I don't know that other people in my department would have said this, but luckily that job actually met its end for that entire department, and for me, that gave me the freedom of seeing things from a different perspective. And so I was able to leave that job because it ended and then I was able to freelance and discover what freelance looked like, which meant testing different things out and having these short stint jobs and getting to explore and adventure. And while it was very, very scary, I will say to not have a secure job to continue to go to, it lit a fire under me in a different way that I didn't know existed or could be a part of the career path that I took.

Holly (06:15): Sure. So let me just pause you right there. I think that I love it. I can totally relate to so much of what you said. But I want to dive into just a little bit about your career because so many people aspire to be in the entertainment industry, the film industry, and as a college kid, you did too. And that was kind of that Holy grail, that oh my God kind of like, "If I got this job..." I'm guessing, correct me if I'm wrong, because I've been here, I'll use my example. I really wanted to go into consulting and I really wanted to work for really big firm, go to the office, be in meetings, and I laugh now because these are all the things I ended up hating. But I had this idea of glamorous office life. And not far into my career, obviously, the wheels started to come off and I was like, "No, this is not what I thought it was."

Holly (07:16): Tell me a little bit about the type of work that you did because in previous conversations we've had, you've mentioned that you've traveled the world, you've been able to work with some pretty big names and celebrities, and you have also... but at the end of the day, that still wasn't necessarily where you wanted to go in your life. So tell me a little bit more about your journey and what specifically you did, and then what led up to that ultimate dissatisfaction, and what was that pivotal moment maybe that you decided to take a turn?

Courtney (07:52): It's interesting because when I look back now, it was many moments that built up to one big one, probably. I did through going through the motions of what I thought I needed to do, like the checklist that you and I are both touching on that, you get the office job, or however you define it, you get the job, the career, and you grow from that and you grow up the ladder, say. For me, I continued to explore what that looked like in my field. And so I originally went into production in the producer E role and planned to go down that path and slowly realized that I actually really liked being behind the camera. And so then I shifted into being behind the camera, which gave me other opportunities to discover things I really liked and connected with.

Courtney (08:48): So while I was continuing to walk down this path of where would I go in the film industry, I was discovering things like, "Oh, I really love to travel. And I don't like being in an office." And so there was a little glimmer there that built to this bigger transition period and gave me the idea of, "Oh, wait, a 9:00 to 5:00 in an office doesn't have to be the only option for a career." And so it was things like travel, things like being on set, things like getting to interview people that made me really realize how much I loved connecting with humans and having those one-on-one conversations. And I think, honestly, the root of everything for me was people. Even travel was because when I go and travel to different places around the world and even state side, I'm always looking to find out what's the culture of that place and connect with the people that are from there and really learn and be a student of the area.

Courtney (09:50): And so to me, I started to link those things and there came a turning point when I realized that I wasn't aligning with the job that I had and the value that I wanted to feel for what I did wasn't being met and that was my responsibility then to act upon. So I shifted and did what I will say is still one of the scariest decisions, which was then go into business for myself and allow it to be something that I'm continuously figuring out over time and realized that I really needed to be in a profession that connected with humans, because that was my deep core strength and was what I wanted to do.

Holly (10:36): I can totally relate to what you said, and I'm guessing there's other people that can too, when you talk about... I imagine you were living in New York at the time. And so if you can imagine Courtney walking the streets of New York city and crying to and from work, girl I've been there. Not only just crying coming home after a shit day, but crying going to the office and being... And I remember distinctly feeling like going into my last corporate job was like every force... it was like walking through molasses literally trying to force myself to go to this office. I just remember how awful that felt. And perhaps it's not that dramatic for everybody, but it certainly was for me. And it's nice to know that we are not alone in this.

Holly (11:26): And you also had a similar struggle. And I think if that's not a sign showing your misalignment with your purpose, I don't really know what is. So that's just such a great contrast and it's such a great strong message to pay attention to in terms of like, "Hey, wake up, it's time to make a change." So there's a black hole kind of between working in a corporate job and starting your own business. And the black hole is that space between. That is where it's the hardest, it feels the most risky, and how do you create a bridge over that black hole, that black ambiguous space, how do you go from really predictable, maybe miserable, but predictable, corporate job into boom, "I'm a business owner." So let's unpack that a little bit. And I'd love to hear how you navigated that space in between those two transitions. How did that work for you?

Courtney (12:42): I just read something recently, actually, where it described the black hole as being... like going from one trapeze to another. It's like when we're meeting our hedges and you have to release one to get to the next. And so there is that. That black hole is that unknown of that middle where you're reaching the next one, but you haven't quite reached it. And the beauty of it actually was that the end of the message was that all of life is actually that in between, and we just need those moments of holding on to ground. And I think that that's a lot of, honestly, what my experience has been in that uncertain time of transitioning and being in the constant state of transition really as a business owner and continuously learning. For me, I know I started and I wanted to have all the answers, and I know that I'm not alone in that, where I looked everywhere for somebody to tell me what's the checklist of, "Okay, I left this job and this is exactly the steps you need to take in order to be a successful business owner."

Courtney (13:50): And I wanted all those details, but I kept finding that I was only really hearing, "Okay, I was here and now I'm a successful business owner." And I wasn't getting that in between, and I was craving it. And so I really vowed to myself to take note of what the process felt like. And interestingly enough, when I look back now and thinking about this question, as you're asking me is, we just have to be honest with ourselves. We have to take a moment to actually take stock and sort of audit what are the skills that we currently have in this moment in time.

Courtney (14:31): So actually sit with and write down every skill, which isn't just necessarily a talent that you can use and make money off of that you would normally recognize as a business skill, but also like what are the relationship skills that you have, what are the things that you enjoy and are good at that you bring to everyone around you and to yourself, really taking note what have my experiences brought me to this point and listing that out and recognizing that you have those skills so that you have clarity there, and then being able to intellectualize it and say, "Okay, now what are the skills that I want to grow?" and find your people and take the courses that you might need to grow and amplify those skills to help support you in a time period that feels really unknown and really vast and brand new.

Courtney (15:20): When things are new, we're nervous and we want to hold on to something. And it's really important to go to yourself first and remember what you have and empower yourself before you go to another person. I think that that is a step that we miss. We want to intellectualize first, and that's very important. We can't ignore the knowledge part, but we also just do the same, cannot ignore our inner wisdom. That's so important for us to really recognize, because it builds the self-trust we need in the unknown, and that self-trust will forever be continuously built, but it is so what we need in the darkness of trying to navigate something new.

Holly (16:03): Yes. I love that. I love that, just kind of going back to yourself and thinking about what are you good at, what do you excel at, what do other people come to you to for help with? These are all brilliant strategies for figuring out what you should do next, what you could do next, not even sure what you could do next. And I tried to remove the word should out of my vocabulary because I just really have a problem with should. It's loaded with judgment.

Courtney (16:35): Oh my goodness. Awareness is the first step you're aware of everything.

Holly (16:36): Awareness, exactly. Look! I caught myself too late, but I caught myself. But really relying on yourself first and then going to others to kind of help you bet out your idea. I do. I think that's great. I also think that there are people who have spent 20 years in a job or working for somebody else, and I think throughout that period of time, it's really easy to lose sense of who you really are. And quite frankly, figuring out who you really are is a lifelong project and a lifelong effort.

Holly (17:16): But I can speak from my experiences. I was 15 years into corporate jobs, and I definitely had a sense of not really knowing who I was or what I was here on earth to do, what kind of purpose I was here to do. And that was in part due to somebody else who was always telling me what my purpose was, my boss, the company I worked for, my goals and objectives at my annual review, the mission statement on the wall in the conference room. That was a superficial way of telling me what my purpose was when at the end of the day, it really was not anywhere close. So what would you tell that person who has been working for somebody else drinking the Kool-Aid because... and there's nothing wrong with drinking the Kool-Aid. It is the path of least resistance when it comes to success, working for somebody else. But if they want to break free and really discover who they are and what they're here to do, what their purpose is, how else would you kind of guide somebody into those first steps of self discovery?

Courtney (18:25): Well, I'll first say take a deep breath because I think that a question like that can feel really, really big, especially if you haven't asked it yet and it's coming up and it's making you feel a lot of feelings. For me, anxiousness came up when I first was asked that question and I felt really intimidated by it. And so deep breaths are very helpful to reconnect ourselves to self even before we know who we are. So I would say to do that and to remember that you're human first, and that human piece is so essential because it takes you away from the fact that you may be connecting yourself to your job. If your identity is seen as the work that you do, then that's who you feel yourself to be. That is how you describe yourself.

Courtney (19:16): And so if you don't have an understanding of self outside of that, it is a process to start to break that down. And I think reminding ourselves that we're human, it's just like that moment before when you were like, "Oh, I shouldn't have said shit." It's these moments of, "I need to allow myself to get to the point of awareness. Now am aware that I've been identifying myself as my role, and I don't want to do that anymore because I am being depleted. I'm burning out. I don't feel like I'm being valued potentially." And so if you want all of those things, that's then self-responsibility, those are things that you need to discover. What is nourishing to you? What will fuel you and make you come back to self, even if you don't know who that self fully is yet. And that will be a forever process of unfolding, but it really is one of those things where it does take time.

Courtney (20:13): And so having patience with yourself and reminding yourself that you're human is the most essential piece, especially at the beginning, but always. Because it will be a lot of discovery, a lot of mistakes, and you'll probably want to beat yourself up in the beginning. And that's one of those things that you need to be really gentle with because you don't know what you didn't know, and you're now learning and growing and knowing better as you continue to move into the process of getting to know yourself.

Holly (20:46): Yeah. So great questions to ask yourself and those great prompts to help people. This is only a podcast, and obviously people can go deeper working on this with you. But I would also like to know, just in terms of not everybody is ready to leave their job and take a leap into maybe a more greater unknown, whatever that might be. So for those that are just trying to cope with what's in front of them today, who are barely keeping their heads above water and are just feeling the stress of everything happening in the world, maybe they're working... a lot of my friends are working more hours than they ever have. People are just kind of tired right now. There's a lot going on, a lot being thrown at us. What are some takeaways or things that someone could do to go easier on themselves, avoid this burnout, or kind of walk through that burnout and come out on the other side and still be able to forge ahead and do life in a more healthy way. What would you recommend?

Courtney (22:02): One of my favorite humans and a great teacher of mine, taught me capacity and understanding what my capacity levels might be. And discovering that I had capacity, first and foremost, seems like a funny thing to say was mind blowing, but it really was mind blowing for me. I just didn't pay attention to what my capacity levels were and how much I had to give it at any given moment, and therefore I was overextending. And that was where the burnout came in for me personally. And that wasn't just in my career, that was also in relationships. Everything in your life ends up being connected if you really allow yourself to give it time to connect it all, it's fascinating. So if you're being burnt out in one area, it will affect all of the other areas.

Courtney (22:52): And so it's really important to ask yourself, "What is my capacity?" and to get to know what that looks like and what that feels like for you, and continue to ask that question and start to resource what that feels like when you ask that question and get to know what is your true capacity so that you can communicate that to other people, you can confidently say, "If it's in work, I would love to take that on, but I currently am at capacity, or I currently am unable to take any more projects. But I can reconnect with you once I'm done." And so it's really honoring yourself and regarding yourself and not promising what you can't deliver. And in turn, it will connect you naturally to your body. And through that, it's also connecting to what I was saying before about what nourishes you.

Courtney (23:43): Those questions are so important to make sure you know because it might mean that a stressful thing comes up at work, which is inevitable, and you're able to know that what's nourishing for you is to be able to go outside and take a breath of fresh air, what's nourishing for you is to put on a podcast for two seconds or put on a song that's really going to calm your system and emotionally regulate you, what's nourishing to you is to actually just get a drink of water because your body needs water, or you're hungry, which is a real thing, and you need to eat.

Courtney (24:17): And I think that we don't realize that those simple things that we do for kids if they're upset, it might be one of a few things they're hungry, they're tired, they're frustrated and they can't communicate it, we need to ask ourselves those simple questions regularly and help ourselves to walk through what they feel like a big adult situation is actually just something that's happening in life that we can reconnect to ourselves in and show up a little bit more connected which will actually have a ripple effect on the people around you energetically, [inaudible 00:24:52] is a beautiful thing too.

Holly (24:54): Yeah, sweet. We really can't show up for others as our best selves, in the best way possible, if we ourselves are running on empty. And well, that seems... that's like not a new concept, but it is such a true concept. I know that when I'm not at my best, I know that there's something nagging going on with me in the background, there's... whatever it is, tired, hungry, stressed out, overwhelmed, whatever it is, that all of those feelings, which are very real and normal and acceptable, those at the same time, they cause me to not show up as my best self.

Holly (25:34): And I think I heard an underlying theme when you were just describing different ways to nourish yourself is also boundaries. And so that goes back to your capacity. The capacity thought is, when you're at capacity, being able to define how many hours you have in a day to do X thing, that's also setting a boundary. Like I have two hours today to work on this project, or I have one hour today to work on this project. That's all I have. Maybe a boss comes to you with something else then it's like, "Okay, would you rather me work on project X or project Y? I can not do both. Please help me prioritize my work so that I can make sure I'm meeting the goal or working on what's most important."

Holly (26:26): And we can do that, we, without bosses. If our boss is ourselves, we can also do that for ourselves. And I'm constantly in prioritization mode, especially when things are crazy busy and I'm gearing up for things like a launch, or a major piece of content that I'm about to release. What's more important A or B, B or C, A or C? Constantly asking that question of importance to kind of tie it back to, oftentimes, the thing that I pick that's most important needs to tie back to a bigger goal. And if that bigger goal is peace and quiet, if it's reducing my stress level, if it's creating and completing that piece of content or launching that project, whatever it is, that I use my goal, that goal is the bigger guiding light to help me make decisions on what's most important.

Courtney (27:18): I love that. I also think there's a piece there too of being okay to reset expectations, because the one thing that I've really noticed is that I wanted at one point to not have expectations, and that is very unrealistic check I've noticed. But being able to take a minute to reset them can help you draw the boundaries you need to draw, can help you get an in touch with your capacity level and what it actually is. And it's learned over time. And that's a part of resetting our expectations is that one day you might have overbooked yourself, or you might have a million to do's that you put on your list that you genuinely thought you could get done because you were excited as you wrote your to do list and then at the end of the day, you weren't able to get to them. Being able to reset expectation and operate yourself for it is such a powerful tool. And it's something you would definitely, definitely need as a business owner, if that's the transition that you're wanting to enter into.

Holly (28:21): Absolutely. Yes. I love saying this phrase over and over and over, I reserve the right to change my mind at any time.

Courtney (28:30): Yeah. So good.

Holly (28:31): We do. Just because you are feeling something one day does not mean you have to stand by it and brand yourself and stick to it for life. No. We change. We're human beings, we're ever evolving, the world around us is ever evolving. And therefore, I strongly believe that I reserve the right to change my mind at any time. And that is so freeing too because it also allows you to put a stake in the ground like, "Hey, today I am not going to eat any refined sugar. But you know what? Tomorrow I can, if I want to." And then the critic in me is like, "Well, what about discipline? And what about meeting goals and..." My goals can change. My discipline can change, but I guess I'm talking more about the right choice to change my mind more on a, not on such a micro level, but the second something feels painful or really, really, really unhealthy, or really not good, that is a prime time to be able to change your mind.

Holly (29:36): Now when you're working out and you're lifting hard weights, if I'm going to be like, "Well, I reserve the right to change my mind," I might pick up five pounds instead of the 20s at any time I want. Well, okay, is that helping me meet my overall goal that's still really important to me that I haven't changed my mind about? No. But I do think as a rule of thumb, we all do get to change our minds. We reserve that right. It gives us flexibility and it helps us not be so harsh on ourselves when things don't go as planned as well.

Courtney (30:05): Yeah. And it makes me think a lot about a couple of things I've been learning about both and culture, and there is not one right way for anything. And so in the way that you were just talking about that, there might be a way that you do it today and that differs from the way that you do it tomorrow. And that is totally okay. It doesn't have to be fully structured. There are different energies that we bring structure and flow and allowing space for them to work together allows for many millions of different ways for something to be done for many millions of different people, we all might do something differently and take a different path. So there is no one right way to do it, which again, comes back to how do you navigate from a full time career position to then being your own boss. There is no one right way. There are a million different one right ways to work for you. And there's a big both end in there where you were saying maybe what I want is discipline and maybe what I also want is to be able to change my mind, and I'm able to do both of those things because it's okay that it's not an either, or I'm allowing myself to have multiple options and to know that life is really nuanced and some days the option needs to be on the table and other days I'll want to make myself more structured.

Courtney (31:30): And so I think that there's a fascinating play that can happen here when you get to really explore the realities of, what structure do I really need to keep myself going and reach my goals, and what flow do I need to bring to allow myself to let something be created and to allow my full self expression to come into the mix and allow myself to not be so rigid and really meet myself where I'm at. And so I think that beautiful [inaudible 00:31:58] is so what you were speaking to, and it's been a joy to explore, and I think a necessary part I've found in the journey I've been on from leaving a full time job to creating my own business.

Holly (32:15): Yeah. So much yes to all of that. And I think we've kind of covered your boundaries are essential. However, with boundaries, we also reserve the right to change our mind. And we also reserve the right to change and evolve as people and realize what feels good and what doesn't feel good and ebb and flow with that, as you said.

Holly (32:38): I want to jump into just a little bit about showing up authentically. I know that you work a lot with clients on how to really get in touch with more of your true self. But for those that... I guess whether you're a business owner or you are working for someone else. Actually, let's cover... because I think the approach can be somewhat different. Let's say that someone's listening that is working in a corporate culture that is pretty rigid, that has a very kind of strict corporate code, if you will, an expectation of how everyone needs to be acting and showing up and getting work done. How does somebody continue to fit within that culture, but also be them, their authentic true selves, without sacrificing who they really are? How do you play with that tension there about showing up who you are, but also playing the game, if you will? How does that work?

Courtney (33:46): I think authenticity and our journeys towards what's in integrity to us is a personal journey and a personal responsibility. So that's going to be a journey that you will take inside and outside of the office because your job is a part of your life. And so I think that one of the things that can happen here is, if you can give yourself the invitation to explore, like I was saying before, things like what feels nourishing to you, what feels an integrity, what are your values, if those things aren't feeling aligned with what your company's values are, there might be a conflict here because your authenticity might not have room to breathe. And then that's really telling, because that might mean that there is another space that you're going to need to explore for your authenticity to come alive.

Courtney (34:42): Not every space that you're in might have space for your authenticity to be there, but it's a really beautiful thing to want your authenticity to come out and want to be living in your integrity, and to find something that aligns with that is a very important piece to allowing for it to come out. And you're the one who gets to guide what that path looks like, whether that's creating it in the environment that you're currently in and allowing more of yourself to come out because potentially you've been afraid to be authentic, or if it's that you don't actually have an aligned integrity and values in your current position, and you need to maybe explore it elsewhere. So I think that there's a lovely little journey if you are open to the invitation. [crosstalk 00:35:33].

Holly (35:34): I love how you talk about living within your integrity. And a good indicator, at least within my personal journey has been, do I feel good? And if I don't feel good, there's something out of alignment, and I am not living within my values and integrity if I don't feel good. And I'm not talking about like I drank too much wine. Well, this could actually apply. That if I drink too much wine and the next day I have a headache, do I feel good? No. I have a headache. Okay. Well, maybe that is outside my values. I should have had one glass instead of two, whatever that is. But I'm talking more about like, when I interact with my coworkers, when I'm presenting something, when I'm sharing my ideas, when I'm being really excited at work and the conversations I'm having, are they in the vibration?

Holly (36:28): I like to call them are they high vibe conversations where I'm walking away feeling great. And we aren't often lucky to have those conversations every single time we interact with somebody. But the majority of the time, I think if you feel good at work, that is an indicator of living within your integrity. But I guess when I really started to know it was time to leave was when I didn't feel good at work, when everything I did at work wasn't high vibe, my energy wasn't high vibe, the conversations I was having just weren't high vibe, the company values didn't mesh with my values. And that's where I started to have those indicators of like, "Okay, I'm not being authentic anymore. I'm not living within my integrity. And it is time to make a change."

Holly (37:26): And so just something as simple as like how on a scale of one to 10, how good did I feel after that? And if somebody could ask themselves that throughout the day and just do a quick check in while you're standing in line to pay for coffee, after you left your boss's office, or after you jumped off a Zoom call with your boss, how did you feel? Did you feel good? Did you feel good? Even if it was a hard conversation, you can still have hard conversations and feel good after it. So I don't know, does that resonate with you [inaudible 00:37:57]?

Courtney (37:57): For sure. You're talking so much about the energy that we bring to different spaces and how that interacts with others. Your team, all of you, affect one another. And so again, the core of self connection is so powerful because if you can connect to yourself, you can recognize where your energy is at and what you're giving out. And if you're not feeling like you were describing, do I feel good in this scenario, did I feel good after that meeting, even if it was a hard conversation to have, did that feel nourishing to me, where am I at after this, what is my capacity right now, do I have energy to give anything else to this workday in the way that I need to, or do I need to sit at my desk and work with myself because I actually need some time?

Courtney (38:42): I think that all of these questions are the ones that you're going to end up dancing with to figure out how you feel and if you feel in alignment. And I think too that it's really important to ask those questions because it doesn't just affect you as we talked about. And that to me is, it's a really beautiful relationship you get to have if you choose to work in an office because you get to be with people, you get to be in community, and that's a really wonderful thing. And that self-connection that you will build and that self trust that you will build will effect so beautifully those people around you, because it will allow you to have those hard conversations that are really enriching and building up a company and building up a relationship within that company with other people on your team.

Courtney (39:36): And I think that we may not realize that self-connection truly does lead to enriching relationship and asks us to come together more than come apart. So I think that there's something really big there that it may feel like a simple question in a coffee line to ask yourself, "How did that feel for me?" but it's really asking yourself, "How did that feel for me?" because you want to build connection to your self deeper awareness and regard for yourself and deeper awareness and regard for the people around you and the company you're working for. So it is a beautiful and loving question to be asking on a pretty consistent basis. Holly (40:19): And the consistency is key

Siri (40:20): That's what I figured.

Holly (40:22): Oh, I think on my watch just said, "That's what I figured." [crosstalk 00:40:26]. She literally just said out of nowhere, "That's what I figured." Courtney (40:31): Because I know.

Holly (40:33): Alright everybody, there's three people on this podcast today. Let me introduce to you [Siri 00:40:38]. Courtney (40:37): That was so great.

Holly (40:43): May you know her. The consistency piece, that I think is critical because I don't think we just ask ourselves once or twice every now and then how do I feel? Because as we grow and evolve and change as humans, how we feel about certain situations, or people, or places, or things is going to change too. And so one of the things I've noticed since I've become a business owner is just kind of some of the relationships I've had with certain people in my life, those have kind of ebbed and flowed because I've ebbed and flowed. I've put myself in a different place in my life, in my business, in my head that may or may not align with those relationships that worked for me three or four years ago.

Holly (41:32): And so I think what I would also caution people is like, it's okay, or I guess I would reassure people, it's okay if something that used to feel good no longer feels good or vice versa, something that didn't use to feel good now feels good. How you feel about certain things will change as you change. And [inaudible 00:41:53] would you agree? Do you have anything you would add to that?

Courtney (41:57): This is my jam. We are ever evolving humans, ever evolving. And we have an opportunity to be in relationship with that evolution of ourselves. And this is all of what we're speaking to in this conversation today that change is inevitable. It will happen all around you. Time will continue to move on, but your evolution is something that you need to say yes to. And I think that that's a beautiful thing that we get to be empowered by if we want to be that we can actually take action, take beautiful, imperfect action in our lives to meet the evolution of ourselves and where do we want to be, and can we allow ourselves to move forward from a place that we've been and release what is no longer serving us and really honor what's been there, thank what's been there.

Courtney (42:55): And that might take awhile to get to. I've been on that path with a lot of things. I still am with somethings [inaudible 00:43:01]. And again, that's human. But to know that where you are now is so different from where you were four years ago. And if you allow yourself to reflect on that, you'll realize the natural evolution that happens and that things that really bothered you then may not have such a hold on you now. And that's what it looks like to release what is no longer serving you, and to allow yourself to evolve into a human that continuously learns and grows and expands in this beautiful world and gives what they experience and learn. And that's just such a beautiful medicine that you and only you have because we are all living in such different ways. And so allowing yourself to ever evolve is my favorite invitation as a human.

Holly (43:53): With that invitation, if you're listening, go back and rewind like 30 seconds and relisten to what Courtney just said, because I think that is the hole that pulls everything together that we just talked about. Change is inevitable. Say yes to change. This is the invitation of life is to grow and evolve and constantly be checking in with ourselves and what feels good. That can be a guide point to helping us determine whether or not we're living within our integrity, whether we're being our most authentic selves, whether or not we are doing and living out our purpose, even in some sort of capacity. I cannot thank you enough for being here today, Courtney. Do you have any... Actually, I don't even think we really dove into this. I don't think we really have dived into this. I'm having trouble with my tenses. [crosstalk 00:44:47]. This is so imperfect. It's not even funny. So can you tell us exactly what you do in terms of your coaching program and who you coach, how you help them, and yeah I know that you just launched something. So tell us, give us the scoop.

Courtney (45:07): I did. Funny enough, I just launched a course called Evolve and I'm amped about it. And I got super excited. I'm super excited about the project. It's a 22 day exploration of self journey and really an exploration of expansion in your own life. And so it helps you take stock in where you are now, really honoring your present moment, and slowing down into it and then allowing you to assess, "Okay, from there, what are the dreams that I really wish to bring into life?"

Courtney (45:44): And then the last week is bringing those two together in action, in imperfect, beautiful action that you can take forward with you. And it's a tool to continue to use over and over and over again when you feel out of alignment or just are feeling off of where you were heading in life and to just take stock of where you are and where you want to go again, because that may have evolved and you didn't realize that. So I have an evolve self-piece course, and then I have one that we do together. My next group course offering is in November if you're interested. And then I also do empowerment one-on-one coaching and just work together in terms of what does alignment look like for you and what do you want to dive deeply into to better self connect and learn a little bit more about what has self-abandonment looked like, what can self-exploration look like, and how can you learn to regard yourself more fully?

Holly (46:44): We didn't even dive into self-abandonment, but I do think

Courtney (46:47): The whole conversation.

Holly (46:49): Yeah. It's all woven into a lot of this. And so Courtney, I could sit and ask you so many questions. Courtney is also a Sagittarius sister of mine. We are both Sagittariuses. She also... I hope you don't mind me mentioning this, but she also reads people's birth charts. So you're going to read mine tomorrow and I can't wait. I think part of also of what you do just really exemplifies how intuitive you are and how you really value relationships and connection. And it's so clear that you're in the right line of work, helping other people do that the same for themselves. And so where can people find you online and anything else you want to add before we close today that we didn't talk about, but anything else that you think people ought to know or something that can help some listener out there, if you need to? Anything else?

Courtney (47:46): Well, to tag onto what you said... and thank you for bringing that up. The birth chart readings for me are such a great tool of self exploration, because it helps you really gain understanding to who you know yourself to be. It's really amazing, the connections that it has, and it just gives language, I've found that it gives language to the things that bring you tension and the things that come really easily, and it helps amplify those things in your life and gives you words to be able to use with others to connect more deeply with other people as well. So I find that to be such a beautiful thing. If you are interested in any of my work, you can find me over at Instagram, @ckoesterinspired. It's C-K-O-E-S-T-E-R inspired. And then also at my website, ckoesterinspired.com. And then what I'll leave you with? I would leave you with the fact that I pulled the card before [crosstalk 00:48:44] here.

Holly (48:46): Oh, my gosh! That's what you were doing.

Courtney (48:47): Yeah, and it was called hearing truth and it was all about the fact that have the answers within you already and to really trust yourself and to tap in to your own voice and listen to what it's saying. And don't be afraid to share that wisdom and believe in what you have within you.

Holly (49:10): Oh, Courtney, thank you. Thank you for pulling that card for us. Everyone, hear your truth. Work with Courtney if you want to dive deeper and get to know kind of yourself, reconnect with yourself. Again, Courtney and I are in a mastermind where we've been working together on some pretty hard stuff when it comes to our businesses over the past few months just... We're a group of five women who push each other to take big, scary risks and imperfect action. And I can tell you from working with Courtney in this capacity, myself, that she is the real deal and she's helped me grow my business and has helped me figure out what's important to me. So thank you for being here, and I hope that you continue to have a brilliant year with your business, and I'm excited to continue our conversations. And I hope that you can continue conversations with people that are listening right now. So thank you so much for being here today.

Courtney (50:09): Thank you for having me. It has been such an honor. It is always an honor to sit in any space with you. And I truly feel so lucky to be here in this conversation with you today.

Holly (50:21): Thanks, Courtney. Find ensure your truth, everyone. We'll see you soon on The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast. Thank you for being here on The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast. I hope you took away a lot of value when it comes to thinking about the big questions in your life and thinking about how you want to live and how you want to fully express your true, authentic self. Courtney gave us some great ideas and tools to use to know when we are out of our integrity, to help us know when we're out of alignment, and those are strong messages that we must pay attention to because paying attention to those messages will help you live your best life. This is work that I am doing on myself continuously and work that I will probably be doing for the rest of my life, is constant evaluation of scenarios, of people, of places, and of my feelings to help me indicate when it's time to keep going and when it's time to make change. Because as Courtney said, change is inevitable and we can always hear our truth deep within us, like the card she pulled. That was so cool, wasn't it?

Holly (51:36): All right. So if you are hearing a whisper in your inner being, thinking about making a change, taking a leap from your current job to that of starting a business, go to hollyknoll.com/free and download my free business action guide. In six easy steps, you will further define your strengths, what you're good at, what people come to you and ask you for, you will define your values and your ideal workday and your ideal life. And within all of that kind of mix of questions, you will have a solid business idea. I would love to hear how that goes for you. Reach out if you have questions as you're working through the guide. Again, it's at hollyknoll.com/free, the business action guide, grab it and get on your way to starting your own business.

Holly (52:26): Thank you so much again for being here today. If you liked this episode, head over to iTunes and leave me a review. I would love to hear what you think. And until next time, friend, I will connect with you online. You can find me anywhere at Holly Knoll and until the next time on The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast, keep going, keep taking action, and keep growing yourself. Thank you so much for being here today and I'll see you next time.

Holly (52:54): Thank you so much for joining me this week on The Everyday Entrepreneur. There are thousands of podcasts out there and you chose to be here with me. And for that, I'm truly grateful to you. Make sure to stop by my website and you can subscribe there to the show in iTunes, Stitcher, or via RSS so you'll never miss an episode. And while you're at it, if you found value in this show, I'd love your rating on iTunes. Or if you'd simply tell a friend about the show that would mean the world. Finally, check out my free guide to starting a business at hollyknoll.com/free, and be sure to tune in two weeks from today for my next episode. Until next time, keep taking action to build your business.