The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast
#14: How To Set S.E.X.Y. Goals with Jenessa MacKenzie
Episode 14
Episode Summary:
Does goal setting overwhelm you? I've got you! Jenessa MacKenzie, a business mindset coach and brand strategist, and I are talking all about the incredible power we have inside ourselves to create the lives we want. AND we'll give you the path to get there... it all begins with creating S.E.X.Y goals!
Episode Takeaways:
How to make goal setting fun!
How to set and structure your goals in a way that helps you achieve the outcome you desire.
Going from an employee mindset to a CEO mindset is a leap.
It doesn’t matter what kind of action you make, as long as you do make a step every day towards where you want to go.
Taking the leap to being a full time business owner is the most exciting and most scary thing.
Find people who are where you want to be – be inspired and mentored by them.
You attract your tribe – don’t worry about the people who you repel, they are not your people.
The only way to attract your tribe is by being you.
When you think something, there is an 89% higher chance of that happening than if you never had that thought.
Step into your power – you own your power and know you are more.
How you think about goals is how goals are going to show up for you.
The format for S.E.X.Y goals - Simple, Executable, Exciting, [your] Why
The importance of having support when it comes to reaching your goals
Remember…
We all have the power to create anything that we want in life.
You Don’t Want to Miss…
01:56 – Introducing Jenessa MacKenzie
03:00 – How to attract your ideal client
04:34 – From employee to business owner
11:21 – Taking the leap to being a full time business owner
14:07 – Attracting your tribe and being you
17:19 – Playing small
23:28 – We all have power inside us
26:10 – The importance of goals
28:05 – S.E.X.Y goals
36:14 – Getting out of your corporate role
Chat With Me At…
Website - http://hollyknoll.com/
Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/hollyknoll/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/consult.hollyknoll
Email me – holly@hollyknoll.com
Grab your Free Business Action Guide
Find Jenessa At…
Website – www.theelevatedentrepreneur.net/
Instagram – www.instagram.com/the_elevated_entrepreneur/
Facebook - www.facebook.com/jenessamackenziecoaching
Podcast - www.theelevatedentrepreneur.net/elevate-podcast
Holly Knoll:
Welcome to The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast, episode number 14.
Holly Knoll:
Hi, I'm Holly Knoll, host of The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast. If you've always wanted to start a business and don't know where or how to start, you've come to the right place. After leaving an unfulfilling corporate career, I decided it was time to start a business of my own. Today, I'm a business coach and creator of The Consultant Code where I help people start services-based businesses in 60 days or less. So grab your latte because you're about to be inspired, armed with knowledge and given simple tools to start a business of your own from my interviews with everyday entrepreneurs.
Holly Knoll:
Hey friends, I have a very special guest with me today here on The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast. I am excited to introduce to you Jenessa MacKenzie. Jenessa is a business mindset coach and brand strategist, and she's host of The Elevated Entrepreneur Podcast, another woman podcasts. I love it. She transforms struggling entrepreneurs into empowered CEOs by helping online experts and creatives create and grow powerful brands committed to helping others build their dreams from the inside out.
Holly Knoll:
Jenessa's mission is to show people how to become who they were created to be so that they can share their talents with the world, make a difference and create a business and life they don't want a vacation from. And with that friends, allow me to introduce to you my guest on today's podcast, Jenessa MacKenzie.
Holly Knoll:
Jenessa, welcome to The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast. I'm so say they have easier today.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
[inaudible 00:01:41] I'm so excited to be here.
Holly Knoll:
Yes. I would love to know first and foremost, what do you do? I know what you do, but the audience would love to know first and foremost, what do you do and why do you do it as a business owner?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
My name is Jenessa MacKenzie. I am a brand coach, business coach, mindset coach, all the coach. No. Business mindset and brand strategy is my jam. So why do I do what I do? The biggest part of why I do what I do is to help other entrepreneurs or people that are looking to start their own business, get from where they are to where they want to go faster. That is the biggest reason why I do what I do.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Second reason is because I know how powerful our thoughts are. I know how powerful every human being on the face of this earth is and I want everyone else to believe that too. So that is the second biggest reason why I do what I do, because I want everyone to believe themselves as much as I believe in everybody. Okay. Yes, that is the second reason. And the third reason is, is because I know how difficult it is for anybody in business or even looking to start a business to wrap their head around how the heck they attract their ideal clients.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
That's really difficult for people that are especially just beginning or haven't quite started yet to understand really who their ideal client is on a deep level, which is how you attract the people that you want to work with instead of who you think you should be working with.
Holly Knoll:
Oh, I love that. And the word, should came up and that is something as business owners we get to remove from our vocabulary are the shoulds. And that's one of the things that I've found just in life in general is just taking that word, just do some experiments around removing that word from my vocabulary altogether. Because to me it feels loaded with judgment, should means, you didn't do it, why aren't you, kind of thing, or it's also loaded with pleasing others versus doing what makes ourself happy.
Holly Knoll:
I'm guessing you didn't wake up one day and come to all these realizations overnight, you had a path and a journey. Tell us how you got started and working... Tell us a little bit about your journey working for somebody else and how you eventually made that transition into being like, "Nope, I'm going to do this for myself and start my own business."
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I was in corporate for over 20 years with the same company for 13-and-a-half, 14 years, and I've always been outside the box a little bit, so corporate didn't really... I couldn't really fit. Definitely, I'm more laid back, I am not the suit, pants, jacket, put myself all together every day type of person, I'm just not. So I was always the most casually laid back person in the office.
Holly Knoll:
Oh, what a horrible thing. Those were always my favorite people in the office.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I know, right. But I feel like that perception of me, people didn't take me as seriously thinking that, oh, she wears jeans every day or her hair is up in a messy bun today, she's not professional. Although I had been there for longer than most of the people that worked in that building. So I could obviously do my job and do it very well if I was still there after 14 years, but I didn't feel like... Even though I went through a couple of different bosses and the last one I think believed in me more than the others, but still felt like I was getting passed up for promotions, or projects, or certain things.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And finally I was like, "You know what? Who else am I going to bet on? Me, that's what I'm going to bet on." That's what I did. I was like, "Okay." Photography was my passion, I love it, I still love it, and that's really where I started. And it was actually kids, families that I started with. And learning how to market yourself after being in a corporate position that does not include marketing is like putting yourself through the torture chamber in the beginning.
Holly Knoll:
It's so awkward, and especially as a personal brand, and as like working as an individual, as a business owner. Where did you find it most uncomfortable and how did you work around that?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
First of all, you're just like, "I just want to X." Whatever it is that you do, like mine was, I just want to take pretty pictures and having to sell the service. I think money, sales and money, asking for money for my service was one of the hardest things for me, because I loved it so much that I'm like, "I just want to go do these things. I would do it for free for the rest of my life." And that is actually the thing that you should get paid for. The thing that you would do for free every day is the thing that you should get paid for.
Holly Knoll:
Say it louder for the people in the back.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Go get paid.
Holly Knoll:
Yes. The thing you love to do that you could do for free is where you can focus to get paid actually. It works quite inversely. Yeah.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah. And then putting myself out there, actually telling people that I was now going to run my own business, but what people are going to think? What was my family going to think? What are these people on the internet that I'm probably never going to meet going to think? All of these things, am I good enough? Every piece of mind drama possible comes up when you do this and it's normal. So if you like [crosstalk 00:08:19]-
Holly Knoll:
And one area I struggled, just to add to what you said is, what are my old coworkers going to think? If I leave this job and then trying to represent myself as a business owner out there, that for me was the scariest, because I thought, they're all just going to judge me, they're waiting for me to fail. They're going to think, who does she think she is? And you know what? Maybe they did, but I had to get to a point where I didn't care what... And that was a process.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes. Yeah, I think my coworkers, even my boss, I'm on LinkedIn as a business owner and was when I was in the office. Everybody saw it. It wasn't a secret and the vibe should change a little bit. It was like waiting for me to take off, like when is she going to leave?
Holly Knoll:
So you had a side hustle, then you-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes.
Holly Knoll:
Oh. Oh, tell us how... What was your side hustle? Was it photography? And then how did you finally transition [crosstalk 00:09:25]-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
It was photography at first, and then... I didn't start coaching online until last year-
Holly Knoll:
Okay.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
... and was still working in the office at that time. You go through these phases, I was like, "I always knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur." I always knew I wanted to have my own business. I always knew I wanted to be my own boss. I think that's really what it was, I want freedom. I want to make my schedule, I don't want somebody over my shoulder, I don't want to be micromanaged. I want you to leave me the hell alone.
Holly Knoll:
Yep.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I want to make my own damn rules. But along with all of those freedoms also comes responsibility. I can go do whatever I want right now, but there's still things that have to be done. So balancing those and not having somebody that is telling you, "Create your goals this month for next year." We can get lost in like rabbit holes very easily as entrepreneurs because that's our mind. That's just how our mind works, we got to train it to be different. Going from the employee mindset to a CEO mindset is a leap, one year still sitting behind that desk in corporate.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And you don't even think about it. You don't even realize you have to have a different mindset to be a business owner. But yes-
Holly Knoll:
So how did you take the leap then? How did that all come... I think that's where people get stuck is they're like, "I have this great side business or an idea," but the black hole is like, how do I get from here to there? And how did you navigate that?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
One damn step at a time.
Holly Knoll:
I know. It sounds so cliche, but I also don't know any other way to describe it other than it's one step at a time.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah. It's taking an action every day and it doesn't matter if it's the wrong action, a messy action, an imperfect action. It's taking a step every day to get to where you want to go. And that step might... You might down a step or you might follow up a step, you don't know what's going to happen. And that's the scariest and the most exciting thing at the same time. So if you can move more towards the more exciting than the scary, push through the fear, is the best advice that I can give you for that.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And find people that are where you want to be. Find that mentor that you really align with and feels good to you, and you vibe with that person, and you get what they're saying, because they're going to blow your mind every time when they give you something else. And for coaching, I was so... I started off as family, kids, women's empowerment. I always knew that I wanted to lift women business owners up and like elevate themselves, their business, their visibility, everything. "You can do this." That's my motto in my head like, "Yes, you can."
Holly Knoll:
Yes.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I started doing some women empowerment photography, and then somebody had said to me, "Oh, I need some pictures for my website." And I'm like, "Ooh, that's fun." And I just did it, and I was like, "Oh, this is it." So branding photography became my thing. And in that process, I would get asked a million questions by my clients like, "Where do I use my pictures? How do I do this? What do I need to say about all these things?" I was like, "Oh, I have these answers."
Holly Knoll:
Oh, it just so happens.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah. And then I came across a mentor that I really loved, and that's when I said, "Oh, I can go impact even more people and bring it online." Once I got through the uncomfortableness of marketing my business locally, it's a whole nother ball game when you take it online. It's like the next level and you're like, "Okay, there's a lot of people around here," in your area that you don't know that are going to see ads in the paper, or a flyer, or you at a fundraising thing, or whatever it is, however you're marketing yourself, networking or whatever.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
It's a whole nother one to be like, "I have no idea who's seeing me. People across the entire world could be seeing me." So I think that was hard for me to put myself out there first., truly myself. Putting really myself out there, my personality, my... I can talk like a trucker, I really pull no punches, it's like no BS. And if I get passionate about something, it's almost like people can get a little intimidated, because I'm so passionate and I'm like, "Right, you can do this."
Jenessa MacKenzie:
So I was like, "Oh, like, that's going to repel all kinds of people, and they're not going to like me, and they're not going to think that I'm expert enough." And Oh my gosh, all the things.
Holly Knoll:
Did you get that feedback at work in your corporate job by the way?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I did. I did, yes. So I did have to make myself smaller at my corporate job to not come off as-
Holly Knoll:
Too much.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
... "aggressive." Right?
Holly Knoll:
Yep.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Because I am not aggressive, I am passionate.
Holly Knoll:
Hey, I've had the same feedback myself from women, by the way. Mostly women who have told me, I'm too aggressive, I'm too this, too that, too this, too much. And I think what I'm hearing you say is, that is what makes you stand out and that's your brand, and that is what your clients have learned to love about you. And the people who don't love that you repel anyway, and who cares [inaudible 00:16:10] people to begin with?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Right? Yeah. You want to attract your tribe. The only way you're going to attract your tribe is by being you, totally genuinely yourself. You won't [crosstalk 00:16:21] find anywhere else not talking the way I'm talking right now. Or if I met you in person and we sat down, had coffee, I would talk to you the same way I'm talking to you right now. There is no face that you should ever have to put on for any situation ever in your entire life. It doesn't matter.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
People have asked me, "Aren't there certain situations that you wouldn't just be passionate, and loud, "and too much?" Yeah. Like if I was at a funeral, in a library, or in a court room.
Holly Knoll:
Unless you were the lawyer in the courtroom.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Unless I was the lawyer in the courtroom.
Holly Knoll:
But you were the prosecutor or the defense attorney in the courtroom, or the judge.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes. Those are the three places that I would quiet myself. But other than that, no places. No, I wouldn't.
Holly Knoll:
To listeners out there right now, who are stuck in those corporate jobs, and we actually have a very big topic to get to, but-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes.
Holly Knoll:
... I think this conversation is so important because I think the first step is... I also worked in corporate America 20 years of my career and I have this mask on that I didn't even really know was there. I was constantly filtering myself, I was constantly running whatever I wanted to say through some bullshits. And I was constantly caring what people were going to think, and I was constantly trying to please other people and not even caring what myself thought.
Holly Knoll:
And I was doing this unconsciously because over the years, I had received all this feedback and I was trying to be enough so I could get promoted, so I could get the project that I love, so I could get my boss's approval, when at the end of the day, no wonder people like you and I, and probably a hell of a lot of other people who are listening are thinking like, why do I feel so misaligned here every day? Why do I feel like, you said earlier, like outside of the box? Like a fish out of water?
Holly Knoll:
Because you were being asked small, because you were asked to filter yourself and to sensor yourself and not be who you really are. I'm sorry, but life is too short, and now I'm getting on my soapbox. But life is too short for us to play that way anymore, come on. I'm 42 and I just see people selling their souls day in and day out, and I just want to be like, "You are so much more." And not that business ownership is right for everybody, but maybe it's a different company or with a different culture.
Holly Knoll:
Or maybe it's like a side hustle like what you did, where you got to have your true personality come out, where you still paid the bills and got your insurance paid for from your full-time job.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah, exactly. The funny thing is, is that what we don't realize is that we have been trained to be small our entire lives. When you're growing up, how many times have you heard, "Not right now."? Or, "Be quiet," or... And it's not anybody's fault.
Holly Knoll:
No.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Your parents weren't doing anything wrong, but your subconscious pulls that in is, "Oh, I need to stay quiet," or, "Oh, I can't be loud." Or-
Holly Knoll:
I don't matter right now.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I don't matter right now, yes. So all of those things, and when we go to school, we're the smaller, we're smaller, because we have teachers that are authoritative figures. We have to raise our hand to go to the bathroom. You have to ask to go to the freaking bathroom. It's a human thing, that... I didn't even realize that. But when I heard that the first time I was like, "Oh my God."
Holly Knoll:
Messed up.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
"That is messed up that we have to ask to use the bathroom." And the teacher says, "no," what are you going to do? Pee in your seat?
Holly Knoll:
Sometimes they used to say no. Yes. I remember sometimes they would say no. And looking back, I'm like, "Who would deny kid the right to go to the bathroom?"
Jenessa MacKenzie:
To pee. Right?
Holly Knoll:
Yes.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And not even thinking about now, because I'm 47, I've had three kids. If you tell me I can go to the bathroom now, we're in trouble. When I tell you, "I got to go," I got to go.
Holly Knoll:
It's a non-negotiable. And by the way-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
It is.
Holly Knoll:
... that's not asking a lot, they're not a lot. I would love to get your thoughts, Jenessa just on, like, for some reason in this... It's a patriarchal model in my mind, this idea of playing small has much more hurt women in my mind than it has hurt men. Why do you think that is? What can we do about it? That's a really big question, but just what comes to mind when you think about that?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I think society has segregated men and women in the way that men were the breadwinners, they were all through time, up until the last, probably what? 20 years, 30 years, maybe. Women really started coming out and taking on that role of making money right. Before it was, they stay at home, they take care of the house, they take care of the kids. They cook, they clean, they do all the things, which is fine if that's what you want. Because if you're married and in the 50s or 40s or whatever it was, you got married, and you had a home, and your husband went to work and you stayed home and you did the things.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Marriage is a partnership, so somebody did the things and somebody went to work and made the money. But in the eyes of society, I think that changed what women are good enough for and what men are good enough for. It made men the authoritative figure in the relationship and what the women did wasn't, it didn't matter as much as what the man did because you wouldn't have the home to clean if you didn't go to work and make the money.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Which made women feel small, which made them feel like they weren't good enough, which made them feel like they had... these other things that they were just supposed to do so that they didn't think outside the box, because why should they? Everyone's telling them, "This is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to clean, cook, have kids and take care of your man." Who the hell is taking care of her? So I think, what can we do now? We can speak up, we can use our power, we have power. We all have a power inside us so we can create anything we want, anything we want.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Your mind, you think it, and it has like an 89% bigger probability of it actually happening than if you never thought that thought. So how powerful do you think your thoughts are now after hearing that statistic? I always screw up that word. Statistic. If you think that you are not good enough, if you think that you are going to fail, if you think that people are gonna judge you, if you're judging yourself, all of those things.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
If you believe those things, those are the things that are going to show up. That's going to show up for you. Without getting extremely woo here, because [crosstalk 00:24:33]-
Holly Knoll:
I can have you on next year and we can talk about woo, but yes-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah. Because it really is the energy that you put out is what you're going to get back and what you think is going to happen. So stepping into your power, step into your power, it doesn't mean you have to be a bitch. It just means that you... Right? It just means that you own your power and you know that you are more, that's all that means.
Holly Knoll:
I know. It sounds so cliche, but I also don't know any other way to describe it other than it's one step at a time.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah. It's taking an action every day and it doesn't matter if it's the wrong action, a messy action, an imperfect action. It's taking a step every day to get to where you want to go. And that step might... You might down a step or you might follow up a step, you don't know what's going to happen. And that's the scariest and the most exciting thing at the same time. So if you can move more towards the more exciting than the scary, push through the fear, is the best advice that I can give you for that.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And find people that are where you want to be. Find that mentor that you really align with and feels good to you, and you vibe with that person, and you get what they're saying, because they're going to blow your mind every time when they give you something else. And for coaching, I was so... I started off as family, kids, women's empowerment. I always knew that I wanted to lift women business owners up and like elevate themselves, their business, their visibility, everything. "You can do this." That's my motto in my head like, "Yes, you can."
Holly Knoll:
Yes.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I started doing some women empowerment photography, and then somebody had said to me, "Oh, I need some pictures for my website." And I'm like, "Ooh, that's fun." And I just did it, and I was like, "Oh, this is it." So branding photography became my thing. And in that process, I would get asked a million questions by my clients like, "Where do I use my pictures? How do I do this? What do I need to say about all these things?" I was like, "Oh, I have these answers."
Holly Knoll:
Oh, it just so happens.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah. And then I came across a mentor that I really loved, and that's when I said, "Oh, I can go impact even more people and bring it online." Once I got through the uncomfortableness of marketing my business locally, it's a whole nother ball game when you take it online. It's like the next level and you're like, "Okay, there's a lot of people around here," in your area that you don't know that are going to see ads in the paper, or a flyer, or you at a fundraising thing, or whatever it is, however you're marketing yourself, networking or whatever.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
It's a whole nother one to be like, "I have no idea who's seeing me. People across the entire world could be seeing me." So I think that was hard for me to put myself out there first., truly myself. Putting really myself out there, my personality, my... I can talk like a trucker, I really pull no punches, it's like no BS. And if I get passionate about something, it's almost like people can get a little intimidated, because I'm so passionate and I'm like, "Right, you can do this."
Jenessa MacKenzie:
So I was like, "Oh, like, that's going to repel all kinds of people, and they're not going to like me, and they're not going to think that I'm expert enough." And Oh my gosh, all the things.
Holly Knoll:
Did you get that feedback at work in your corporate job by the way?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I did. I did, yes. So I did have to make myself smaller at my corporate job to not come off as-
Holly Knoll:
Too much.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
... "aggressive." Right?
Holly Knoll:
Yep.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Because I am not aggressive, I am passionate.
Holly Knoll:
Hey, I've had the same feedback myself from women, by the way. Mostly women who have told me, I'm too aggressive, I'm too this, too that, too this, too much. And I think what I'm hearing you say is, that is what makes you stand out and that's your brand, and that is what your clients have learned to love about you. And the people who don't love that you repel anyway, and who cares [inaudible 00:16:10] people to begin with?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Right? Yeah. You want to attract your tribe. The only way you're going to attract your tribe is by being you, totally genuinely yourself. You won't [crosstalk 00:16:21] find anywhere else not talking the way I'm talking right now. Or if I met you in person and we sat down, had coffee, I would talk to you the same way I'm talking to you right now. There is no face that you should ever have to put on for any situation ever in your entire life. It doesn't matter.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
People have asked me, "Aren't there certain situations that you wouldn't just be passionate, and loud, "and too much?" Yeah. Like if I was at a funeral, in a library, or in a court room.
Holly Knoll:
Unless you were the lawyer in the courtroom.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Unless I was the lawyer in the courtroom.
Holly Knoll:
But you were the prosecutor or the defense attorney in the courtroom, or the judge.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes. Those are the three places that I would quiet myself. But other than that, no places. No, I wouldn't.
Holly Knoll:
To listeners out there right now, who are stuck in those corporate jobs, and we actually have a very big topic to get to, but-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes.
Holly Knoll:
... I think this conversation is so important because I think the first step is... I also worked in corporate America 20 years of my career and I have this mask on that I didn't even really know was there. I was constantly filtering myself, I was constantly running whatever I wanted to say through some bullshits. And I was constantly caring what people were going to think, and I was constantly trying to please other people and not even caring what myself thought.
Holly Knoll:
And I was doing this unconsciously because over the years, I had received all this feedback and I was trying to be enough so I could get promoted, so I could get the project that I love, so I could get my boss's approval, when at the end of the day, no wonder people like you and I, and probably a hell of a lot of other people who are listening are thinking like, why do I feel so misaligned here every day? Why do I feel like, you said earlier, like outside of the box? Like a fish out of water?
Holly Knoll:
Because you were being asked small, because you were asked to filter yourself and to sensor yourself and not be who you really are. I'm sorry, but life is too short, and now I'm getting on my soapbox. But life is too short for us to play that way anymore, come on. I'm 42 and I just see people selling their souls day in and day out, and I just want to be like, "You are so much more." And not that business ownership is right for everybody, but maybe it's a different company or with a different culture.
Holly Knoll:
Or maybe it's like a side hustle like what you did, where you got to have your true personality come out, where you still paid the bills and got your insurance paid for from your full-time job.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah, exactly. The funny thing is, is that what we don't realize is that we have been trained to be small our entire lives. When you're growing up, how many times have you heard, "Not right now."? Or, "Be quiet," or... And it's not anybody's fault.
Holly Knoll:
No.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Your parents weren't doing anything wrong, but your subconscious pulls that in is, "Oh, I need to stay quiet," or, "Oh, I can't be loud." Or-
Holly Knoll:
I don't matter right now.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I don't matter right now, yes. So all of those things, and when we go to school, we're the smaller, we're smaller, because we have teachers that are authoritative figures. We have to raise our hand to go to the bathroom. You have to ask to go to the freaking bathroom. It's a human thing, that... I didn't even realize that. But when I heard that the first time I was like, "Oh my God."
Holly Knoll:
Messed up.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
"That is messed up that we have to ask to use the bathroom." And the teacher says, "no," what are you going to do? Pee in your seat?
Holly Knoll:
Sometimes they used to say no. Yes. I remember sometimes they would say no. And looking back, I'm like, "Who would deny kid the right to go to the bathroom?"
Jenessa MacKenzie:
To pee. Right?
Holly Knoll:
Yes.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And not even thinking about now, because I'm 47, I've had three kids. If you tell me I can go to the bathroom now, we're in trouble. When I tell you, "I got to go," I got to go.
Holly Knoll:
It's a non-negotiable. And by the way-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
It is.
Holly Knoll:
... that's not asking a lot, they're not a lot. I would love to get your thoughts, Jenessa just on, like, for some reason in this... It's a patriarchal model in my mind, this idea of playing small has much more hurt women in my mind than it has hurt men. Why do you think that is? What can we do about it? That's a really big question, but just what comes to mind when you think about that?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I think society has segregated men and women in the way that men were the breadwinners, they were all through time, up until the last, probably what? 20 years, 30 years, maybe. Women really started coming out and taking on that role of making money right. Before it was, they stay at home, they take care of the house, they take care of the kids. They cook, they clean, they do all the things, which is fine if that's what you want. Because if you're married and in the 50s or 40s or whatever it was, you got married, and you had a home, and your husband went to work and you stayed home and you did the things.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Marriage is a partnership, so somebody did the things and somebody went to work and made the money. But in the eyes of society, I think that changed what women are good enough for and what men are good enough for. It made men the authoritative figure in the relationship and what the women did wasn't, it didn't matter as much as what the man did because you wouldn't have the home to clean if you didn't go to work and make the money.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Which made women feel small, which made them feel like they weren't good enough, which made them feel like they had... these other things that they were just supposed to do so that they didn't think outside the box, because why should they? Everyone's telling them, "This is what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to clean, cook, have kids and take care of your man." Who the hell is taking care of her? So I think, what can we do now? We can speak up, we can use our power, we have power. We all have a power inside us so we can create anything we want, anything we want.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Your mind, you think it, and it has like an 89% bigger probability of it actually happening than if you never thought that thought. So how powerful do you think your thoughts are now after hearing that statistic? I always screw up that word. Statistic. If you think that you are not good enough, if you think that you are going to fail, if you think that people are gonna judge you, if you're judging yourself, all of those things.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
If you believe those things, those are the things that are going to show up. That's going to show up for you. Without getting extremely woo here, because [crosstalk 00:24:33]-
Holly Knoll:
I can have you on next year and we can talk about woo, but yes-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah. Because it really is the energy that you put out is what you're going to get back and what you think is going to happen. So stepping into your power, step into your power, it doesn't mean you have to be a bitch. It just means that you... Right? It just means that you own your power and you know that you are more, that's all that means.
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Holly Knoll:
If I were listening and I was like, "Okay, I'm tracking. I get it. I need to start stepping into my power and not..." With the new year coming up, I'd love to get into goals just a little bit more because for the listeners out there, Jenessa has a magical system when it comes to goal-setting. Just to preface it a little bit, I'm sure a few people roll their eyes like, "Oh God, goals," because at least for me, there's such a should attached to goals.
Holly Knoll:
But how can people work around that should and want to set goals? And how can we... And oftentimes, I think they just seem so big and scary and like, I don't... And there's this thing of like, "How do I know if I'm doing this right? Or is there a wrong way?" And then by the time you get to that question, it's like, "Forget it, I'm just not going to do it." Just let life happen to me, I can't do it. So I guess why are goals important first and foremost? Why do we need to set?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Goals are a map. That's like getting in your car and telling the GPS to just take you somewhere. The GPS is going to go, "I don't know where you [crosstalk 00:26:27] want me to go." You have to set a destination, right?
Holly Knoll:
Yep.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
So for it to give you the line to go down this road and take a left, you have to give it a destination. And your goal is a destination. Your goal is it's not scary, it shouldn't be scary. Kind of going back to what were just talking about, how you think about goals is how goals are going to show up for you. If you think goals are scary, if you think goals are just another failure, whatever you think about a goal, that's how it's going to show up. So I created the SEXY goal method because who doesn't want to show up for a sexy goal?
Holly Knoll:
Hello? Yes.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah.
Holly Knoll:
What does that look like? What does-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
It's just the goal that you set needs to be, should be... Boy, we're using all the words here, right? Needs, shoulds. The goals, so let me start with this. Think about your goal as how big you're going to play the game and what game you're playing. Are you setting a goal to start your business? Are you setting a goal to reach a certain revenue amount? Are you setting a goal to help your health? What are you setting the goal to first of all? And then how big the goal is, is how big you're going to play the game.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
The first thing, your goal should be as simple. I don't mean simple to get to, I mean, simple to understand. Doesn't need to be a lot of words.
Holly Knoll:
Let me just give you a goal of mine just so we can make you use a real life example. Let's say I want to replace... I'm just going to throw this out there, this isn't necessarily a goal of mine, but... Okay, here's a lofty goal of mine right now.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Okay.
Holly Knoll:
All right. We'll do the real life coaching if you're into it.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Sure, yeah. Do it.
Holly Knoll:
Okay. Jenessa, I really want to make $50,000 a month and by June of next year, how do I get there? Is that a goal? Is that the right way to think about the school? I don't know, I just want to make more money.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes, it should be tangible, it should be... When I say tangible, you need to put a number on it. If you're going to say, "I want to make more money," we all want to make more money. So yes, there should be a number on it. Should it be a little uncomfortable? Yeah, it should be a little uncomfortable. Should you feel like you could actually reach it? Yes. So if you're saying, "I want to make a million dollars a month by June of next year," you're probably... Yeah, that would be great, but if you're making-
Holly Knoll:
Yeah, go for it, but-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
... zero money right now, that's probably a little far-fetched to be making a million in six months. Right?
Holly Knoll:
Right. It might be dreaming this a little big, but this arbitrary... I guess I probably jumped right into making my goal way too specific because that's just how I'm programmed right now, but-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
No, that's okay.
Holly Knoll:
... yeah. Somebody who was like, "I just want to make more money." Okay, so real and specific to a dollar amount, a timeframe?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah. Simple is definitely within that frame of, I want to do X. It shouldn't be overcomplicated, it should be like, this is my goal. Tangible, something that you can see, specific numbers or a specific deadline. Yes, there should be a deadline. When do you want to reach the goal by? So the E in SEXY, so the S is Simple, the E is Executable. Executable meaning there are actually actions that you can take to get to this goal.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Doesn't mean that you have to know all the actions right now to take to get this goal. It just means that you are capable of taking executable actions to get to this goal. What doe that do of us? It gives us more confidence that we're going to reach this goal, so like, oh yeah, I can, name five things in your head that you could possibly be doing to get to that goal. The X is so exciting, it needs to be exciting.
Holly Knoll:
Why.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
This goal needs to excite you. You want a goal that you're like, "that's no fun," or, "Who cares about that?" Or whatever. You want it to be something that you want and not just because you think you're supposed to have it. Something that you actually want.
Holly Knoll:
You should. Something that you should be [crosstalk 00:31:31]-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes. Yes, exactly.
Holly Knoll:
Yes. I love having that as exciting because I feel like a lot of goals I set in the past are things that maybe I haven't used the word should, but I feel like I should achieve. Like I should be healthier, I should weigh this amount, or I should make this amount of money or whatever. Okay. Something that... And like when I think of any of the past goals I've set recently, like probably in the half year, I'm not sure they really excited me, so that's great. Okay. Make it exciting.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And then the Y actually stands for Why, the word, why, why, why.
Holly Knoll:
The [crosstalk 00:32:13] why.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Why do you want this goal? Because you're never going to reach the goal until you know why you want to reach the goal. And be really specific with yourself and honest with yourself about why you want this goal. If you're saying something like, "Everyone else is making 10K a month, so I should be too." Then that's probably not the best goal for you right now, because everybody's journey is different. If you're making $0 right now, maybe your bigger goal is to get to 10,000 a month. But what is your next goal? Like to make 2K a month? Great, let's figure out how to make 2K a month first. If that [crosstalk 00:32:55]-
Holly Knoll:
That's what I was going to ask you is, is for, back to that million dollar example. There's nothing wrong with dreaming really big and hey, I want to have a million dollar a month. Amazing, awesome. But how would you work with somebody to break their really big goal down into bite-size chunks? How could we think about that in a more achievable [crosstalk 00:33:17]-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Some of the things that I would have asked you, if you were come to me and said, "I want to be making $50,000 a month within six months." What I would have said to you is, "Okay, what is your business? What are you offering? What are you making right now? What are you doing right now that's working? What are you doing right now that's not working?" So having all of those pieces in front of us and understanding where you're right this second, and then breaking it down, reverse engineering it backwards to where you are now through the six months, we can figure out if it's feasible with what you have right this second, that you could make $50,000 a month in six months.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Or if we had to tweak your pricing or add something, take away something. There could be a bazillion things and it would all just be very individualized to the person in the business as to how you are breaking that down to get to the goal. And I know that is really the confusing part for a lot of people. They're like, "Okay, I want to make $10,000 a month, but I don't know how to make $10,000 a month." I think it's important to set the intention, definitely important to set the intention, this is what I want. Why do you want it? This is what I want. It's exciting, it's simple, it's executable and you know why you want it.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And it's okay if it's like, I want 10,000 a month so that I can send my kid to private school, so that I can take that [crosstalk 00:35:00] family vacation, buy a new car. Whatever it is, it doesn't have to be... It can be personal. I think a lot of people also feel guilt about that as well, but that's a whole nother subject.
Holly Knoll:
Yeah, the desire-driven, they need to be rooted in some sort of desire, right?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah. You're doing, you're building this business because it's something that you're passionate about. But just because you're passionate about it doesn't mean that you don't make money from it, like we talked about earlier, right?
Holly Knoll:
Yep. What about this? What if someone were to say... Were listening right now and they're like, "Okay, I want to leave my job. I want to quit my corporate job." What would be some ways to think about how they could structure setting some real goals and they're like, "I keep wanting to do this, I've been wanting to do it for years. I just haven't done it. I don't know." This might be a very helpful framework to help say, you bridge that black hole between working in a corporate job and making the lead to either a side hustle or a full-time job. So how could someone think about that?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I think the first questions I would ask would be again, are you making money in your side hustle now? And how much? Do you need to replace your entire corporate salary for you to be able to quit your job? Or maybe you have a spouse that you don't have to have your entire salary covered? And remember that when you are your own business owner, you are responsible for your own taxes, so when you say, okay, I need to replace my income, you're not replacing what you're taking home, you're actually timesing that by three.
Holly Knoll:
Yeah. Taxes are a real witch. [crosstalk 00:37:01]-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I think these are just more things to think about like what would my goal be revenue-wise and to be able to quit my job? Do I need insurance health insurance or any other type of insurance? Make sure you're adding that in there and making sure that you have support to reach the goals, I think is really important.
Holly Knoll:
Yes. Yep.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
So setting them, even if it's with your spouse, significant other, your best friend, whatever it is, sit down with somebody and say, "These are my goals, can you help me? Help me or just support me because there's going to be days where I think I suck or I feel like everything sucks and I'm going to want to quit, and I'm going to be a total bitch, but I need you to just support me through it." So having that conversation with somebody that can support you in that way is super important.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And if you, maybe you don't have anybody in your life that you feel comfortable doing that with find somebody, if it's a coach, if it's a group program, if it's just a Facebook group, a free Facebook group that is very supportive. Do join that and find somebody in there because there should be people out there that want to help you. And-
Holly Knoll:
I totally agree with that. I personally am not married, I don't have a spouse. I have found it to be a very lonely journey in a lot of ways being a business owner, but the people that have kept me going are that are those... Looking for that support outside, like my immediate network. I don't go to my corporate friends for advice or chitchats about my business, they don't get it. I love them dearly, but it's just it isn't a productive conversation. I find people in similar stages of their business, I have a mastermind that I belong to, we meet once a week.
Holly Knoll:
The free Facebook groups, I think that's a brilliant idea. You don't even necessarily have to join a paid program to be a member of a free Facebook group of business owners or people that are, if it's niche industry like photographers or is it like local business owners, whatever it is. I found Facebook groups to be amazing places to network for potential clients and to meet people who are in similar boats as you for that support. I couldn't stress the support piece enough. I totally agree. Yeah.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yeah. And that's another good point too, find local networking groups so that people... There are people right around you that you can go have coffee with because it does get lonely. Right?
Holly Knoll:
It does, yeah.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Now I get it, COVID, the whole thing, but wear mask and go have some coffee or stand six feet apart and talk or six feet apart on a bench or something.
Holly Knoll:
Or have a virtual coffee. You can never-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
You can have a virtual coffee, absolutely.
Holly Knoll:
Yeah. The mastermind I have, one woman's in Australia, one's in Canada, one's in Brazil and one's in Jersey and I'm here in Minnesota. My cup is full after I meet with these women on a weekly basis. So even if getting out of the house is hard for people especially with winter coming, I highly encourage just finding any support, even online is better than just trying to go it alone.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes. Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, that's-
Holly Knoll:
What's the message? SEXY goals, simple, executable-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes.
Holly Knoll:
... exciting, and being clear on your why. I would add a double S on maybe, put that support piece like [crosstalk 00:41:06]. I think that's a part that's key piece and can just help you guarantee your success even more because it can also be somebody that can help hold you accountable to like, "Okay, last time we talked, how is that going?"
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Exactly, exactly. Yeah. And that's important. And don't be afraid to ask for help. I think that's one of the biggest things too, is that... That was hard for me. That was a hard one for me. I was like, "Oh no, I can do this. This is my [crosstalk 00:41:38]-
Holly Knoll:
I got this.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I should know all these, I got this. I can do this. I'll do it all myself. I don't need anybody to yourself." And then you're just spinning your wheels and you're like, "Why isn't this working?" It's not working because you have no support and you're too much into whatever to ask for help-
Holly Knoll:
In your head.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
In your head.
Holly Knoll:
In the echo chamber of your own thoughts.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
You stubborn.
Holly Knoll:
Stubborn. A mentor I have who critics my... In a very constructive way obviously, but critics my landing page for my free giveaway, and she was able to identify something that I would not have seen. And we made the smallest slightest tweak and I'm like, "Oh my God, why did I not see that? Thank you for helping me with this." Because we just get stuck in our own business, in our own thoughts, in our own filters that other people can see so many things that we can't. So yeah.
Holly Knoll:
Is there anything else feel like we didn't talk about today that you love to chat about or you feel could be helpful to the listeners?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
We talked about a lot.
Holly Knoll:
I know, we did. We talked a lot into this. With that said, where can people find you online? How can we learn about your program? Where can we follow or have discussions with you, probably in a podcast?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
You can find me on the web at www.theelevatedentrepreneur.net. You can find me on Facebook at, it's Jenessa MacKenzie Coaching, like the at sign, @JenssaMacKenzieCoaching. That's my business page. My Facebook group is... Free Facebook group, do I say that free Facebook group?
Holly Knoll:
Hey, you've got a free Facebook group. Okay. If you guys want to fill your S, the second S for support, join Jenessa's Facebook group. What's your Facebook group? Where should we find that?
Jenessa MacKenzie:
It is called Your Next Level Marketing Mindset in Business for Bad-ass Business Space.
Holly Knoll:
Oh, I love that. I love the Bad-ass. Okay.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And on Instagram, you can find me @the_elevated_entrepreneur. Oh, and my podcast, don't forget to listen to my podcast too.
Holly Knoll:
Oh yeah. What's the name of-
Jenessa MacKenzie:
The Elevated Entrepreneur Podcast.
Holly Knoll:
Perfect, yeah. The Elevated Entrepreneur Podcast. So many ways to connect, and it's been wonderful having you on the show today. Thank you so much for your time. And everyone go find Jenessa online. If you want some help with your goals or want to join her Facebook group, those sound like amazing, just take a step out of this podcast, go join her Facebook group. Easy, done, click a button, and then you're already in and you've got support.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
Yes. Thank you Holly for having me.
Holly Knoll:
Thank you for being here. Yeah.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
I loved it.
Holly Knoll:
Absolutely.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
And let me know if you're going to come join the group. Let me know where you're coming from so that I can shout out Holly.
Holly Knoll:
Yes, yes. Feel free. All right. Thank you so much, Jenessa.
Jenessa MacKenzie:
All right. Thank you, Holly. I appreciate it.
Holly Knoll:
Thank you so much for being here on The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast, Jenessa. Friend, I hope that you took away some really great tools and techniques that Jenessa shared when it comes to creating SEXY goals in the new year. And while you're at it, go grab my free business action guide at www.hollyknoll.com/free, and in six quick steps, I will help you solidify your business idea so you have an idea that you can go and pitch to your very first client. Again, thank you so much for being here on The Everyday Entrepreneur Podcast and I will see you here next time.
Holly Knoll:
Thank you so much for joining me this week on The Everyday Entrepreneur. There are thousands of podcasts out there and you chose to be here with me. And for that, I'm truly grateful to you. Make sure to stop by my website and you can subscribe there to the show in iTunes, Stitcher, or via RSS so you'll never miss an episode. And while you're at it, if you found value in the show, I'd love your rating on iTunes. Or if you'd simply tell a friend about the show, that would mean the world.
Holly Knoll:
Finally, check out my free guide to starting a business at www.hollyknoll.com/free, and be sure to tune in two weeks from today for my next episode. Until next time, keep taking action to build your business.