How To Turn Haters Into Self-Motivators
non-supporters can be just what you need to take on the world.
My last job before starting my business is a huge reason that I started believing in myself. But the story isn’t quite what you think.
It’s not because I had a cushy work environment where everyone applauded my job well done and pushed me out the door with a champagne toast and encouraging words. Ha!
Allow me to start from the beginning.
I had packed up to move my life and career halfway across California for this job. Oh, there were warning signs from the beginning and yet… I ignored them. Once I started the job little things started happening which let me to doubt myself, realizing I made one heck of a bad decision.
A boss who didn’t support me. Working for a brand I TOTALLY didn’t believe in. (ahem, red flags ignored) Among other things that just weren’t working, I found myself in a place where my values and confidence was compromised. Until finally, I had had enough. Something had to give! The stars aligned and I was let go. I like to call it, released with a big sigh of relief.
Negative work environments are a lot like a bad relationship; you have to know when enough is enough and call it quits.
Get out before resentment in your job or workplace builds, you’re ripping your hair out and worst of all, before you become complacent and just decide to settle.
There is a lot to learn from a bad relationship, just like there is a lot to learn from a bad job or a bad boss, and it often has to do with you learning more about yourself than you ever could have learned before. Negative experiences teach us SO.MUCH. They will actually build you up and allow you to see yourself in a brand new way. But not without a little pain and struggle sometimes… but trust me, it’s worth it!
I finally decided I was fed up with this situation and started to look to myself for positive feedback and encouragement. That’s when I truly learned the meaning of a little ol’ self-love in the workplace.
When I left that job I started digging deep to build up my confidence from within. It was important that I became my own biggest supporter, believing 1000000% in myself. Seeking outside approval is always fleeting and a no-win game no matter how hard you spin your hamster wheel of achievements.
Contemplating how to shake off the negative juju of my previous job, I was so beaten down. So I started from my rock bottom, and looked way, way in, to myself. I enrolled in a yoga teacher training to learn more about who I was and how to listen to myself. I learned to pay attention to my inner voice to recognize where it was guiding me and what to do next.
It was pretty clear that I needed to start my own business. Plus a small part of me was still traumatized and I was certain I wouldn’t allow myself to get that low again. I couldn’t imagine working for someone else… like ever again.
I got my life coach certification and launched my consulting business. If I'm honest, a little bit of me wanted to prove my previous situation wrong, but knowing that's a total waste of time, I refocused on proving my abilities to myself. The reward was so much more satisfying when I held the mirror up to my own life instead of proving something to someone else.
Because of this failure, I have been able to wholeheartedly believe in others and mold my entire business model around that one core value. I can place myself in YOUR shoes and because I’ve been there (or likely some flavor of it). Without this experience, I would have never had the perspective to help my clients today.
Believe in yourself. Once you do, there is truly nothing stopping you.
Know that negative experiences can lead to huge successes and valuable reintroductions to yourself. And once you believe in yourself, there is truly no stopping you. Each time you fail, you’ll be able to meet a new version of yourself and have a clearer picture of what’s fundamentally important to you.
The sooner and more frequently you can do that, the sooner you can start to steer yourself in that direction and achieve bigger and greater things.
Holly works with professionals to create services-based businesses using expertise and strengths they already have. Holly is the creator of The Consultant Code, a program will have you up, running, and profitable with your services-based business in 60 days or less! Want to learn more? Drop her a note at: holly@hollyknoll.com